Final Destination is Death

There’s this one line Kevin Durant says in Court of Gold: “This game saved my life. It brought me and my family from a lot of bullshit, so I will always be grateful for it”. That line? It stayed with me this whole month. I’ve watched almost every sports document series on Netflix lately - F1, basketball, swimming and while each of them had their highs, this one just made my day. Because if I think back, sports really saved me. Not in a romanticised, movie-montage kind of way. But in a way that gave me structure when everything around me was chaos. For ten years, I played badminton seriously, not just school medals and tournaments but waking up before sunrise, the bruises, the finals I lost, the matches I’ll never forget (I mean never). Sports made me a better human.

One Fine Day, You Just Knew.

There are two days I hold close like secret bookmarks in my life, May 1st, 2024 in Alleppey, and May 19th, 2025 at Marine Drive. Both days, I was alone. Both days, I watched the sunset like it was the first and last time. And both days, something inside me went still. And then loud.

I realized what I really wanted. Not a checklist. Not a career ladder. Just this, being present, being free, and being me. There was a kind of clarity in those moments that I’ve never had even in my loudest wins.

Sitting by the water for four hours, I didnt think anything. But if I was at home, I would’ve spiralled in five minutes. That’s when it hit me, Places heal you. They absorb your noise and hand you back peace. Some places don’t just look good on camera, they hold you when you don’t know what you’re holding yourself for.

And in that stillness, I realized: You can’t rewind. You can’t go back and redo things. But you can watch a sunset again. You can travel again. You can choose peace again. That’s more than enough sometimes.

It was 8.00 pm at Marine Drive, Mumbai

High Speed Drifting

Play this and read this!

May 11, 2023 - That was the day it kind of stuck. You don’t always realize what a place means to you until you’ve stepped out of it. College, it gave me everything. The laughter, the chaos, the people, the stage lights, the creative madness, the last-minute submissions, the after-event chills, it was all so much. So alive. So us.

And then one day, you’re standing there, singing your college anthem for the last time, and that’s it — it’s over. Just like that.

Suddenly, you’re in a job. Schedules take over. People get busier. Messages slow down. Group chats die out. And while you’re surviving new routines, there’s this part of you that quietly aches for the old ones. But that space? It will always be home.

Sometimes I still go back — to that gate, that corridor, that exact classroom. I stand there and my mind replays everything like a movie: Me zooming in on my scooter, rushing to class, stopping by the staffroom to joke with someone, yelling my friends’ names from across the block, teasing someone randomly, dancing under the lights during culturals like I owned the stage,not drunk, just high on joy.

And those memories? They don’t fade.The marches, the songs, the madness, it was all ours. And then boom, it ends. Just like that. No warning. Just a calendar date that closes a chapter.

Maybe I’ll do my master’s. Maybe even a PhD someday (Just kidding guys, never gonna do that). And yes, I know I’ll have more fun ahead. But nothing and I mean nothing, will feel like home the way undergrad did.

That campus, those people, that era — they made me. And no matter where life takes us or how disconnected we are right now or we might get, they’ll always be my people. The kind I’ll show up for, no matter what and even in silence. Because they made my days better without even knowing it. And that... that’s something I’ll carry for life.

Love ft Alphonse Puthren

But even now, ten years later, I’m still not over how it feels. It was the summer of 2015 when Premam released and back then, none of us really knew what was coming. A Malayalam film that would go on to be the go-to for every mood, every heartbreak, every phase. And for me? It cracked open a new doorway into Malayalam cinema and into myself.

I’ve watched Premam too many times to count. Sometimes for comfort. Sometimes for nostalgia. Sometimes just to feel something again. It’s the kind of film that doesn’t even try too hard. It just exists and you find yourself in it.

There’s no way to put it all into words. I’ve tried. I’m trying now. But all that really flashes in my mind is George riding his cycle across that Alleppey bridge. That golden hour frame. That soft breeze of a memory.Or George, Koya, and Shambhu walking into college like they owned the world — just boys being boys. And then that one background score kicks in — “Unfinished Hope” — and I swear, that one OST will stay with me forever. It has a kind of ache that only good memories give.

And then there’s Celine. And the closure. The kind you don’t expect but absolutely need.

Premam isn’t just a love story.

It’s growing up, quietly.

It’s grieving without big breakdowns.

It’s moving on without hatred.

I don’t know what else to write. All I know is, if I’m ever at my lowest — Premam is the film I’ll return to. And it’ll be enough.

Sometimes, Adversity is the Best Experience

There’s this strange thing about adversity, you don’t know how deeply it’s shaping you when you’re in it. You just feel wrecked, numb, angry, and done with everything. But sometime later, in a quiet moment or in a therapy session, you look back and realize: maybe it was the most important phase of your life.

There was a stretch of months where I genuinely couldn’t stand myself. Like, truly hated the person I was becoming. I wasn’t functioning, I wasn’t healing, I was just pushing things down, moment after moment, telling myself:“Calm the ffffff down and move on.”And I did. At least, I thought I did.

But the truth is, I never found closure. Not with my past in sports, not with family expectations, not with my anxiety, not even with the grief of letting go of who I used to be. It all stayed, tucked in some quiet corner of my mind. Until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

And now? I wouldn’t say I have it all figured out. But I’m softer with myself. I’m learning. I’m showing up, not to be perfect, but to be honest.

So if you’re going through hell right now, just know, it’s okay if it doesn’t make sense yet. Adversity doesn’t come with subtitles. And you’ll look back and go,“Damn, that version of me survived things I don’t talk about. And that counts for something.”

AND HONESTLY, YOU WILL NEVER FIND CLOSURE, JUST PRETEND YOU DID AND MOVE ON!

MOVIES OF MAY:

I shouldn't be saying this but I’ve never experienced a movie like that. I was laughing at people dying in the most horrific ways. Realised I'm probably messed up. Anyway, had way too much fun watching Final Destination: Bloodlines.

RETRO: It definitely worked for me, especially the screenplay, structure, and the ending, which a lot of people seem to complain about. But if you really watch it for what it’s trying to say, you’ll see it tackles layered issues. Yes, at times it tries to connect topics that don’t fully blend — and that’s where it gets messy. But the intent? The message? It still holds weight.

NARIVETTA - A solid theatrical watch, visually striking, good sound, but honestly, it lacked a bit of depth in the details. Still, worth the big screen.

But the real highlight of the day? My parents were out of town for over a week. My best friends? Either turning into nerds prepping for exams, on night shoots, or cancelling plans.

So I did the only thing that made sense, took my scooter out and just rode around the city at 2 AM. Quiet roads, and good music.

Skip My Life and Take Me to This Phase

If you could fast-forward through all the chaos right now and just land in a phase of life that feels like peace, joy, or something you're deeply excited for, what phase would that be?

Think about it.

Tell me in the comments or send me a message, I’d love to read what your version of "take me there" looks like.

This is my "Skip my life and take me to this phase"

SONG SUGGESTIONS FOR MAY:

So this song’s always been special. You guys know that beautiful film The Sky Is Pink?

Well, here’s something wild — the song “For Aisha” was created by the real-life big brother of the girl the movie is based on. He made it as a tribute to her. (For the people who don't know it)

And once you know that, the song just… hits differently.

Monaco Babyyyyyy!!!

People are messing with my patience, when i say i am a Lando Norris fan. Your cry baby won it and all i wanted is to say two words but i wont.

THANK YOU FOR READING TILL THE END! HAVE A GREAT JUNE.

(Also wish my best friend that her parents allow her to get a dog. We are gonna keep his name as "MAARA". And to the mother of my best friend who is reading this, Please allow and this is the only safest way i can ask)