I am 22

Hello Everyone. I will be turning 22 and I always wanted to write this. The last two years have been a roller coaster of emotions, lessons, humans, college, career, dreams, and many more! Especially 2024 was that damn year I wouldn't want to comment about because it was as mixed. I had the happiest days as well as the most suicidal days. To swallow my shit, I am going to write 22 things that I wanna take it. And I hope everybody is doing great.

Here you go, 22 things about turning 22:

1. This world teaches us to be victims. It's easy to glorify things that I have a fucked up house, a bad breakup, or an unfulfilling career. I feel it's easier to be sad and keep talking about it. But it's tough to Fight, it's tough to come out of it and find a way, it's tough to be homeless, and it's tough to work your ass out! I realized that shit happens but no matter how hopeless you are, life moves on and so do the people around you. Trauma isn't my fault but healing is my responsibility.

   
   

2. I understood that my life's purpose was not to have anything. It's crazy for me to think of something for the next 5 or 10s that I truly don't want life to be granted. I enjoy traveling and found a cheat code to do that, I have amazing humans around me to spend time with and have fun with, or rather I can spend my whole life being solo too. I am gonna live for experiences and as simple as that. My decision of anything that's for a career will revolve around whether it is fetching me enough money for my other things or giving me experiences that I could take to my grave!

   
   

3. Just because I am unhappy, it doesn't mean I can make everyone miserable. This was one of my toxic traits which I realized slowly. I don't do it deliberately but when I am having bad months, my brain needs miserable stories to understand that, everybody is going through shit, and so do I.

   
   

4. I am too young to be rushing things and too old to be wasting time. I am trying to get a balance out of this.

   
   

5. "Bold girls make history, not the good ones"- Priyanka Chopra. So don't try to be good for the sake of convincing anyone, Be rebellious dreamers.

   
   

6. In life just consider whether you want "Dangerous Freedom or Peaceful Slavery".

   
   

7. Karma is just an action energy. If I have ignored someone for a while, they don't tend to call me, that's it. It's as simple as that. You chose that action to take place and so you have the choice of either correcting it or moving without it.

   
   

8. You will never get a second chance in Life, Love, and Friendships. If you do, just know that you are the luckiest human on this entire planet. Never take anything for Granted.

   
   

9. Strict Parents raise amazing storytellers and liars. I truly believe this. Give me any situation - I can tell you a story to lie.

   
   

10. Being Joyful and carefree ends after school for the majority and a few lucky souls it's after college.

    
    

11. I feel like, it's not about figuring out things that are making me anxious, it's just the act of doing nothing that makes me anxious and buries me inside. I am okay with being anxious about failing, but feeling "undervalued" is the most certain pain I cannot undergo.

    
    

12. Attention-seeking and Desperation is the worst addiction in this world and this was my biggest lesson of this year. Every action reacts and just PAUSE before anything you wanna do or let things go. A lot of addiction arise from a need for attention.

    
    

13. If you are ready to love, be ready to lose. And LOVE is the best thing in this world. If you do have a chance, never let it go. But if it has to go, life doesn't end there. Give yourself full with any human you meet and I understand the pain of not giving myself full will be the worst guilt I could have. So I do give fully, no matter what!

    
    

14. Therapy sounds expensive but it has worked out for me. I rather spend some bucks than be vulnerable for a longer time.

    
    

15. Being in a professional sport taught me how to navigate life and till now, I go back to it. I am always grateful for being in Badminton and choosing to play for a decade.

    
    

16. I thought I was mature but I am the most toxic person too. I am the most vulnerable, saddest bitch, insecure human but only the closest ones tend to see it. And even after seeing you cry, weep, and tolerate your most unethical behaviors - they have stayed and chose to stay- Keep them for life and they are for life. My absence was nothing but a void.

    
    

17. You might not truly know your good and bad behaviors in comfortable situations or not having the breakdown periods of life. So if you are in your downfall, know that life doesn't end there and you will come out of it.

    
    

18. Sometimes, Home is everything. My entire experience of escapism, pretending to be happy always, fully giving to people truly comes from the act of not getting it too. And the first point of LOVE in life is a home that doesn't make you anxious. So it's a battle of ignorance that sometimes makes the other person so vulnerable.

    
    

19. Somedays you will be buried. You will never be that old version you are trying to become. It's just not you anymore. And it has died, whether you become better or not, you like it or not. Don't keep searching for the old soul in you instead know that, this is what life is and you will never be that carefree kid again!

    
    

20. Don't be isolated in one place. It just breaks your creativity like anything. Go out, watch a movie alone, sit on a beach, eat your favorite food, smile at random strangers, talk with that driver, meet your friends, go to your school or college to see that blankness, and never hold a grudge for a long time, call that friend who doesn't take calls and make them know that you are alive, be shitty and vulnerable, explore things, and just know that "Vazhka Oru Vattam". You will not be sad for the longest time so do you being happy. Everything is insanely about how you navigate life and understand it because nothingness is life and you are the life.

    
    

21. WHATEVER SHIT HAPPENS, LIFE HAS TO MOVE ON AND DEATH IS INEVITABLE. Be there for people who stood by you and even if they haven't, be there! Understand Death is insane and, I just realized that you either chose the pain of regret or the pain of ignorance. So decide wisely!

    
    

22. Take a solo trip in your twenties. Nothing can match that satisfaction of doing things you wish to do and making it possible. The experience of traveling alone is insane. Also, go on countless trips with your friends because nothing can match that. Remember, you take nothing from this world and life is short!

Thank you and sorry for everyone who has stayed with me through thick and thin and will always be grateful for you guys.

Also, I have been out of social media for almost two and half months now and only install it if I want for an hour, and if you ask me It feels great but I don't feel anything better because what is the purpose of uninstalling it and using YouTube as your alternative? The thing is Instagram and Snapchat make me so anxious for no fucking reason and I have a hell of a lot of my shit to handle so not having it makes so much sense. Pretty much, nothing about it.

In 2020, on the same day- I decided I should write online not for the sake of monetizing it but for just exploring my creative side. I started with writing in Wattapad and now I own a blog. The next plan is to be better at this and find a unique niche.

That's it from my end. Have a great end of year and I hope everything falls into place. Also, I hope your parents give you permission for a year-end trip and you and your gang make that Goa trip possible!

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