The sky is Pink

When all the memories flood back and overwhelm you, and you stay up all night, hugging your pillow—smiling, crying, and syncing in—breaking down that tough personality you built (or the pretentious one, to be very obvious), and just wish you could have all of it with a soulful heart, without complaining about the endings nor the beginnings. I had so much fun in my college and if you ask me, I’d still take that hour-long drive just to stand there for two minutes and soak it all in. Because some places aren’t just places—they’re feelings. Maybe that’s what memories do—they soften you in ways you never expect. And in between all of it, they make you wonder—where did the time go? AND If you are wondering, whats this all about, i had my convocation on march 1, 2025 after two years of passing. If you ask me, its great to have it that way!

The end of beginnings

Some moments just fly before you even get to process them. One second, I was everywhere—jumping from people to people, having conversation after conversation, meeting my professors, being with my set, taking in everything happening around me, and then suddenly, it was over. Just like that, it was over. Four to six hours of absolute chaos—laughing, messing up, feeling too much, feeling too little, and not even knowing what the fuck I was feeling. And then, after two, I crashed at my friend's place, and somehow, in the middle of all that, we had a concert booked too. So yeah, that was fun, super fun.

And then at night, around 10, I was traveling back home from Adyar, and that’s when everything in my head just flipped. It felt so weird, like everything was catching up to me all at once. I was fucked up crying or feeling so numb, maybe because I just didn’t know what the fuck I was feeling. But it was a lot. I mean, a lot! It felt kinda unfair that the day just ended, but life is that way right? May be, i couldnt accept the fact that i will never be that careless kid again?

I barely had time to talk to everyone and may be i had so much to listen to. I wanted to ask that one thing that was lingering in their heads two years back to how life has changed now, that much i thought i can get to talk with peope. It felt like everyone had changed in their own ways—including me—but somehow, some things just never do. Like getting my convocation done alongside the person I absolutely hated back in kindergarten but somehow ended up walking this entire journey with. Or sitting next to the same people I sat with on my very first day of college. Running into my favourite person and her sister, I had way too much fun with in such a short span of time, meeting the one who felt like home, and of course, time changed and it always does.

May be i wish, i had more time to feel this...

LIFE HAS ITS OWN DESIGN

No one really prepares you for how confusing your 20s can be. You think life will eventually make sense, that decisions will get easier, and at some point, you’ll just know what’s right. But here I am, standing at a crossroads, feeling everything and nothing at the same time—excitement, fear, pride, sadness—all crashing in, yet leaving me numb. Nothing makes sense, not right now, not when I finally got what I worked so damn fucking hard for.

For months, I pushed myself to the edge, barely sleeping, juggling everything, breaking down and picking myself up over and over and over and over again. And honestly, I don’t want to glorify the whole “hard work” narrative because we have do that for sure. There were nights I set a timer to cry so I could get back to studying for exams. It was exhausting, frustrating, and everything in between.

But I wanted this, deep down i wanted to escape and now i dont know what i want to escape from! I talked about it like it was the one thing that could change everything. And yet, when it finally happened, when I got that one damn thing I always spoke about, I felt… nothing.

How do you just walk away from the people who have been your home? The ones who sat with you through the worst, who made you laugh even when life felt unbearable? The ones who knew when to pull you out of your own head without you saying a word? And suddenly, you’re just supposed to leave all of that? Just because “this is what’s next”? Just because “this is the right thing to do”? There is this one text and it will make me so fucking happy, "Asshole, What plan for the weekend?.

It’s a weird contradiction—knowing that you’re working toward a future you built for yourself, but also feeling like you’re leaving behind the very things that made you who you are. And maybe that’s the scariest part of it all—not just the fear of starting over, but the fear of losing the life and the people that shaped you. But maybe that’s just how life works. Maybe some decisions will never feel completely right. And the people who truly matter—they never really leave (Okay, you guys never leave!)

AFTER ALL WE END UP WITH PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE US FROM INSIDE!

There’s this strange void that lingers in all of us, the kind that never really leaves. One day, i want to feel, forgive and the other day i am all up for an anxious night. These moments, they don’t just pass; they stay, tucked away, quietly shaping how we see the world, how we love, and mainly on how we trust. And maybe, in the end, that’s why we find ourselves drawn to certain people—not because of surface-level similarities, but because, somewhere deep inside, they carry the same kind of weight, the same longing, the same way of seeing life. Maybe understanding people isn’t about figuring them out, but about recognizing the pieces of yourself within them.

At the end of the day, I’ve learned one thing—JUST HAVE FUN. There’s no time left for anyone. I refuse to take life—or the people in it—for granted. I ALWAYS say this, and I always will: be kind, be empathetic, put yourself in someone else’s shoes, but don’t forget to be selfish too.

And let’s be real—none of us are perfect. We’re all ASSHOLES in our own ways. So don’t throw around those self-reflective, deep-dive quotes, because when you really think about it, does any of it even make sense? The weirdest part of life? You’ll end up doing the same shit someone once did to you—maybe in a slightly better way, maybe with a little more grace—but the cycle repeats. That’s just how it goes.

HUMANS are the most complex, just sit and talk, you will get to know how much wild we can be! WHAT MAKES YOU AMAZING, ask me? Its ACCOUNTABILITY. You know right? Its the most sexiest thing you can ever do! We all mess up and we do. But all this love you get from messing up is what you have done about it. EVERYTHING IS YOUR FREE WILL, You wanna suffer or you wanna make that damn thing- Its with you!

We are getting older, baby!

Just sitting there, listening to my favorite humans talk, watching them fight their battles, figure out life in their own messy, beautiful ways—it was something else. Isn't it amazing? To just watch people navigate through life, to witness their highs and lows, their struggles and victories, and somehow, in all of that, find a little clarity for yourself too.

The great hypocrisy of being human? That constant tug-of-war between solitude and company. The maddening paradox of desperately wanting love—craving to give and receive it—and at the same time, wanting to detach from everything altogether. We oscillate between wanting everything and wanting nothing at all—between chasing dreams and questioning their purpose, between clinging to memories and desperately wanting to forget.

We love. We detach. We hold on. We let go.

And somewhere in this chaotic loop, we’re getting older, baby and three months passed already. The years slip by, and with them, so do versions of ourselves. And yet, here we are—still unsure, still oscillating, still wondering if we’re making the right choices or just existing.

Maybe that’s the thing about growing older. It’s not about finding answers—it’s about making peace with the contradictions, about embracing both solitude and company, love and detachment, everything and nothing—all at once.

MOVIES OF THIS MONTH:

1. Mickey17: Mickey 17 isn’t just a film; it’s a sensation. The visuals—stunning, poetic, sometimes terrifying—wrap around you like a dream you’re not ready to wake up from. The concept of expendables, of a man who dies over and over again only to come back, each time a little different, a little more fractured—it messes with you. It made me think: Would I still be me if I were reborn endlessly? Would I lose myself or become something else entirely?

   It’s that rare film that gets under your skin. It doesn’t hold your hand or explain everything. Instead, it lets you feel—and damn, did we feel it.

   
   

2. Adolescence: It’s been a long time since something made me feel this uneasy. I went in expecting a thriller—something intense but manageable. What I didn’t expect was for it to wreck me from the inside.

   If you’ve watched it, you know.

   
   

   The weight of guilt. The feeling of incompleteness. The unbearable suffering of a little boy who kept his entire family afloat while slowly drowning himself. It wasn’t just sad—it was suffocating. It forced me to think about things I wasn’t ready to confront. About how we fail people we love. About how sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we can never fix things.

   
   

   It haunted me for days. I carried that feeling like a heavy stone in my chest. Maybe I was overthinking it, maybe it was just bad timing—my creative space is overflowing right now, and emotions are hitting me harder than usual. But this series? It didn’t just make me think. It made me feel. It unmade me.

   
   

3. Court State vs Nobody: There are only few films in Telugu industry that stands out and if its "NANI's creative space", i am seated for it. This film just stands out to me, kinda like Jersey for sure. I loved it and a beautifully made court drama.

You might hate this playlist because its a very wierd combination (But its my 10:30 slow burners i listen to while coming from office)

And most importantly—if you’ve been trying to get back to that passion project, that long-lost hobby, just do it. It’s freaking APRIL—if not now, then when? Sing that song, bake that cake, write that story, pick up those brushes and color outside the lines—who cares? Just create, just start. Because this month? This is that kind of month. The energy shift is real. (And let’s be honest, the commerce blood in me considers this the actual new year—everything before this was just a trial period of life.)

Also guys, i drank four coke bottles one day and literally thought i am fucked up. So putting this out so i follow, from march 15, 2025 onwards i stopped drinking SOFT DRINKS!

CERTIFICATE OF APPRECIATION for everyone for bare minimum things like breathing, existing and adulting. Thank you and have an amazing month. Take care and have fun.